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How to find and partner with a caregiver

Key takeaways

  • Finding the right person to care for your loved ones can feel daunting, but a little legwork upfront could pay off later.
  • The secret to a strong partnership with a caregiver has as much to do with what you do before it starts as it does after.
  • Even though you're not in a business setting, creating a contract and providing regular feedback could make the arrangement successful.

Partnering with a caregiver to handle a loved one's needs can be difficult, as it blends the personal and the professional. Here are 7 things to keep in mind as you find and hire a caregiver.

1. Reflect on your needs before finding a caregiver

"Invest a little bit of time upfront to think about what's most important to you," says Meredith Stoddard, vice president of life events at Fidelity. Jot down your preferences and outline the care you're seeking. How many hours a week do you need help? And what kind of help, exactly? Is it important that they have a driver's license, CPR training, or other certifications?

Professional caregivers, on the other hand, work about 40 hours a week and care for their client fully, including making meals, planning schedules, and in some cases, housekeeping.1

2. Find a caregiver who's the right fit

Start by asking friends and family for recommendations. You can also post in local social media groups or on community email lists. You might choose to search large care websites, which often have background check capabilities and allow you to read reviews of nannies, Stoddard says. No time for research? You could hire an agency to recruit and interview candidates on your behalf.

When you find someone you like, set up an in-person interview and ask how the applicant would approach situations that may arise, such as conflicts, emergencies, or last-minute schedule changes. See if the candidate measures up against that list of preferences you made earlier. Don't forget to leave time for the potential caregiver to ask you questions. "After the interview, ask for references and give candidates your references if you've had other household employees; it's a 2-way street," says Stoddard. You could also do a paid trial day where you can watch how they interact with your loved one.

3. Pay a fair wage

How much you'll pay depends on the amount of care you need and where you live. Before researching wages, read up on your state's household worker laws, Stoddard says. "In some states, you can't have people work more than 40 hours a week without paying overtime, and in others you can't salary a caregiver," she says. Once you know the laws, check major care websites to learn the going rate for caregivers in your area.

Account for paying their taxes. Some of the tax burden is on you because nannies aren't considered independent contractors, Stoddard says. And it's important to pay on the books. "You're taking on a lot of risk if you go under the table—you could get audited, and it could affect your own employment. It could affect the caregiver's Social Security credits too," Stoddard says. You may need workers' compensation insurance, and, depending on how much you spend on care per year, the IRS might say you need to pay household employment taxes. You can consider using a payroll service to make this easier, though it comes with a cost.

4. Decide on the benefits you'll offer

Just like pay, benefits are crucial to a fair relationship. Decide how you'll handle vacation time. Stoddard says it's typically 2 paid weeks of the caregiver's choosing per year, and 1 extra paid week when the family is on vacation. What's your policy for sick time? Will you offer health or retirement benefits or a phone plan? Put everything in writing.

5. Create a contract

"It's a great way to spell out details, such as job responsibilities, pay and benefits, house rules, vacation, and work schedule," says Leung. "It also makes it easier to address issues that come up because these details have been clearly articulated." Ask your caregiver to collaborate with you on it so both your expectations are included.

Check yourself too. "Are you asking a household employee to do more than you'd be able to do in a given day?" asks Stoddard. "Think through what's fair and equitable to all parties." Many major care websites have templates that you can use to craft your contract. Aim to have one finalized a few weeks before your caregiver begins so you can talk it over and be on the same page for Day 1.

6. Be prepared for issues

The caregiver-client relationship is more complicated than one in a traditional business setting. That means tackling issues that arise may need to be different as well. Have regular check-ins and share feedback often to normalize discussing difficult issues, she says.

Make sure these conversations go both ways: You can provide feedback or raise concerns, and caregivers should provide updates, flag issues, or clarify anything they may be unsure of. When there's a problem, handle it with an open mind and without accusation. "Part of your responsibility as an employer is to not take advantage of the power dynamic at play," Stoddard says. Reviewing the work agreement every year or after any major family changes may minimize issues.

7. Know when to end the relationship

Perhaps there's been a change in your schedule or your loved one's needs, or maybe things just aren't working out. Whatever the case, the termination process can be done in a professional and respectful manner. Conversations such as these are best handled in a private setting, perhaps away from your loved one's home.

One thing to make the discussion easier: Provide details in the work agreement from the get-go, so there are no surprises when it's time to part ways. Include what you expect of the caregiver if she wants to end the contract, such as 2 weeks' notice. Refer back to your nanny contract to see what was agreed upon.

And double-check state guidelines—some have rules on when employees should be paid or require unused paid time off to be paid out or a specific termination notice to be shared. Lastly, remember that the caregiver and your loved one may have developed a special relationship, and it can be tough to lose a caregiver they love. If your caregiver is willing, arranging for an in-person goodbye is a healthy way to end things.

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Fidelity does not provide legal or tax advice. The information herein is general and educational in nature and should not be considered legal or tax advice. Tax laws and regulations are complex and subject to change, which can materially impact investment results. Fidelity cannot guarantee that the information herein is accurate, complete, or timely. Fidelity makes no warranties with regard to such information or results obtained by its use, and disclaims any liability arising out of your use of, or any tax position taken in reliance on, such information. Consult an attorney or tax professional regarding your specific situation.

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