When you’re trying to save money, whether to put toward a goal or to stay on budget, it can pay to pause before you spend. As satisfying as taking a vacation or decorating with new living room furniture can be, frugal people believe that delayed gratification can be even better. As one of those frugal people whose mission is pretty much always to spend the least amount possible, here’s what I ask myself when a big expense pops up.
1. Would I rather deal with FOMO or be farther from my long-term goal?
My friends were planning a trip together when I was trying to save for a house. As hard as I knew it’d be to see their social media photos of their good times—and be the odd woman out when they reminisced about their vacation when we next met up—I decided it’d be worse to delay building my down payment. Going on a $1,200 California vacation probably would’ve set me back a month or two when I was hoping to reach my goal within a year. That approaching finish line made it easier to pass on the vacation.
2. Is this a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity?
If I thought my friends would never plan a group vacation again, I might have made a different decision. But we’ve since gone on 2 trips and are planning a third. I have no major regrets about missing that long-ago meetup. On the other hand, if presented with an enticing one-time-only (or rare) chance, I might prefer to seize the day. Being frugal doesn’t mean I always say no—I just make sure the expense matters.
3. Will I think about this decision 20 years from now?
Just because something is once-in-a-lifetime doesn’t mean it’ll be on your mind the rest of your lifetime. If I don’t think I’ll dwell on a particular expense, I figure it’s a sign not to prioritize it. I honestly haven’t thought about skipping that trip until I started writing this article—and it’s been way less than 20 years.
4. Will skipping this expense ruin a relationship?
Is your best friend getting married in the Caribbean? Is your grandma’s 80th birthday wish a family reunion across the country? Declining these could do long-term relationship damage and lead to regret. On the other hand, I once turned down an invite to a wedding in Mexico taking place 3 weeks before my own wedding. That former colleague understood I couldn’t divert $3,000 from my own wedding bills for flights and a hotel in Cancun to attend hers. Besides, she might have been relieved to pay for fewer people, since her guests were invited to a welcome dinner and post-wedding brunch in addition to the reception.
5. Is there something cheaper I can do instead to preserve the relationship?
If you turn down a chance to celebrate someone, you may be able to do something just as meaningful closer to home and for less money. Cooking them their favorite meal and enjoying it, just the two of you, would likely get you more time together than attending a big party. Or if you have a special skill, like home organizing or photo album making, you could put that to work as a gift. My former colleague understandably didn’t come to my wedding either, so after our respective honeymoons, we got dinner and traded wedding stories.
6. Is there a less expensive, similar alternative?
Whether it’s a new couch or a new medication, if it seems expensive, ask someone in the know what else is out there to achieve the same result. There might be a lower-cost generic drug that’s as effective, or a lesser-known brand making high-quality products for far less because they don’t have the name recognition. Sometimes, you might not need to ask anyone: I loved the look of a dining table at a high-end store, so I took a picture, reverse-image searched online, and found a dupe for about $1,500 less.
7. Will this go on sale soon?
A clued-in salesperson might be able to tip you off about upcoming promotions the brand or store will be offering. Waiting to buy has led to me buying the exact item for less. At a mattress store, a worker told my husband and me that new options were coming out in a few weeks, so the older mattress we were interested in would be a couple hundred dollars less if we held off a little while longer.
8. Is there anything I can do to get a discount?
For energy-saving appliances, there might be rebates available. You might be able to trade in a used item, like a car seat, for a discount on new baby gear. Being in the military or a veteran, being a senior, or belonging to a certain group could also get you money off. We’ve saved a few hundred dollars at different times by paying contractors in cash instead of credit cards that charge vendors fees.
Related: 10 ways to save on appliances
9. What happens if I don’t buy this now?
Pros might recommend home repairs or replacements that aren’t urgent. Unless you find out the consequences of delaying action, you might not learn what can wait—or if there’s a good-enough temporary solution. When we had leaks after every severe rainstorm, one roofer recommended a whole-roof replacement for about $15,000. Another roofer did the equivalent of sticking a piece of gum in a hole for a fraction of the price and said that should hold for a couple years when, yes, we probably will need an entirely new roof.
10. Could someone else pay for this instead?
I always cover my kids’ school trip expenses, sports gear, and friends’ birthday party gifts. But when my kids ask for games and electronics ahead of the holidays and their birthdays, I add the items to a running wish list. That way, when grandparents and aunts ask for gift ideas for them, I’m prepared—and someone else can foot the bill.
