Avoiding emotional reactions is a key part of an amicable divorce. Once you and your partner agree to split, it’s important to remember that you’re still on the same team, working together to make that split a reality. It’s best to go into the proceedings with the mindset of getting to a divorce agreement quickly and fairly.
Here are some suggestions for a smoother divorce process.
Extravagant purchases or significant money movements—like clearing out a joint bank account—could be viewed negatively by a judge later. Don’t take more than your fair share, and document your spending. If possible, tell your spouse before moving any marital assets.
If kids are in the picture, think ahead to what kind of costs can be expected, such as braces, summer camp, or college tuition.
Focus on presenting reasonable solutions rather than trying to “win” the judge over. Also, don’t expect the judge to parse through every single grievance that accumulated during the marriage. Instead, align yourself with the judge’s forward-thinking mentality: Show the judge that you’re a reasonable, rational, flexible person floating very reasonable proposals.
Try to move beyond the immediate emotions and instead look to what’s in your best interest in the long view. Think about what’s going to matter in the future and prioritize your long-term interests. This mindset will ultimately help you and your partner move forward toward your next respective chapters amicably.