Every relationship is different—whether it's romantic or platonic, with family, friends, or professional. Whether you're newly in love, building a friendship, or have an existing friendship. Whether your relationship is in the "honeymoon phase" or you've been together for years. Whatever the dynamic of your relationship, there are common characteristics that most healthy relationships share.
No relationship is perfect. This means most relationships have a mix of healthy and unhealthy characteristics—but the goal is to have more healthy characteristics. Continue reading for more on key characteristics for healthy relationships and on how to build them.
Focus on having fun together
It's not okay to have a playful side, said no one ever! It's okay to have a sense of humor, find like-minded activities or share hobbies together. Trying new and enjoyable things can be a source of excitement too. Having fun can be as simple as spending quality time together to going out for a spontaneous activity. It doesn't have to be costly either. Make time and prioritize doing things you both enjoy.
Stay connected through communication
Good communication is fundamental and healthy in any relationship. It takes work and can go far when working through problems and challenges. To get to that place, "listening" can be just as important, if not more, than "talking". Try not to interrupt one another. Practicing listening is a way that can make both people feel heard and not judged. It can also deepen the connection, create happiness, and make both people feel valued.Another communication tip is to pay attention to nonverbal cues, and to also be mindful of your own. This means making sure your facial expressions and body language match what you say.
Good communication is important for every relationship and can alleviate miscommunication, misunderstandings, hurt feelings, lack of trust, and disagreement or conflict.
Manage conflict well
Conflict is sure to happen in any relationship, but to keep a relationship strong, both people need to communicate effectively with one another and work to resolve conflict. You can do this by making sure arguments are fair, exercising forgiveness, and using “I” statements to communicate how you feel. This doesn’t mean both people must agree with one another or even change their mind, perspective, or point of view.
Managing conflict can mean respectfully disagreeing and doing so in a way that still feels safe, and free from anger, payback behavior, and argumentative conduct (or the need to be right). If a situation requires it, try working together to find a solution. Remember to fight fairly and be willing to forgive. Show mutual respect and don't let harsh words, attacks, and unforgiveness stifle the relationship.
Boundaries, boundaries, and more boundaries
Sure, setting healthy boundaries can be hard and uncomfortable at times. Boundaries can even feel scary, but that doesn't mean they should be avoided and it doesn't mean you can't do it. Healthy boundaries are a way for each person to identify when something isn't okay and even demonstrate respect for one another's wishes and feelings.
Where do you start? Because boundaries are different from person to person, be sure to have a clear understanding of what they are and mean to you. There is no one boundary. For example, there are physical, emotional, time boundaries, and more. Whatever your boundaries are, think about some of the different categories (like spiritual, financial, and expectations) and identify your limits. For your boundaries to be honored, you have to communicate them. This may be tough, but tough conversations are part of healthy relationships too. Once you've communicated your boundaries, stand firm in them and have a conversation if they are crossed.
Boundaries don't have to be permanent; it's not uncommon for them to be reevaluated and adjusted as the relationship evolves.
Healthy boundaries can also help couples maintain their independence. Without them, relationships can become toxic, unfulfilling, and can affect your mental health. Establishing and maintaining your boundaries is part of being yourself in a relationship. They can make you feel more confident and increase your self-esteem.
Do you have a healthy relationship?
Consider these statements to help you determine if you have a healthy relationship.
- We handle conflict in a constructive way.
- We accept each other as we are.
- We have fun and participate in activities we both enjoy.
- We feel safe and comfortable sharing our opinions and concerns with one another.
- We respect one another's boundaries.