Questions to ask before moving in together
- Discuss how much each of you can contribute financially. Couples often have uneven incomes and decide to split expenses in proportion to earnings. Make sure you’re on the same page about what you can each afford—after saving for important goals like retirement or a house.
- Decide where to live. Moving in together may require waiting for a lease to expire, selling an existing home, and renting or buying a new home. You may decide to look for a new location that suits both of your needs.
- Decide what to do with existing stuff. Weigh your options and decide if it makes sense to put items that aren’t immediately needed in storage. Determine if storage will be an ongoing expense, if items are still valuable, or make plans to combine.
- Talk about household responsibilities. A lot of ongoing labor is necessary to keep a household in order—cooking, cleaning, shopping, and yard work. Being aware of things that need to be done can help you prepare for the conversation.
- Talk about emotional labor. Like chores, emotional labor can be tiring. For example, constantly reminding your partner about their chores. It may not be your job to do the dishes but if you have to ask your partner multiple times before they’re done—that’s emotional labor. Being aware of the mental space it takes to divide responsibilities or otherwise provide support, may help avoid unnecessary arguments.
- Develop a plan for paying bills. Whether you split everything 50/50, create a household account, or have your own strategy. It’s important to discuss how bills like the internet or rent (mortgage) will be paid.