How to start the divorce process
When it comes to the divorce process, it’s important to choose a legal path that’s compatible with your interests and situation: DIY, mediator, attorney, or a hybrid approach. Also, it can be helpful to lean on your support network: trusted friends, family, or professional counselor–someone who can help you evaluate options and think straight about your big decisions.
Remember, every divorce is unique, and each state has different rules and procedures. Here are some steps to consider as you start the process.
1. Protect yourself
Once you've made the decision to file for divorce, one of the most important steps before beginning the process is to guarantee your physical and emotional safety, especially if you perceive a threat or worry about escalating conflict within the home. If safety is a possible concern, it's sensible to consult a family law attorney or divorce professional, create an exit plan, connect with law enforcement, or even have other safety and support resources readily available before approaching the conversation about divorce with your spouse.
It's also practical to secure your finances. This could mean creating a budget for any upcoming expenses, opening a separate bank account, and inventorying your belongings for the court process.
2. Consult a family law attorney or divorce professional
A family law attorney or a qualified divorce professional can be beneficial and help you understand your rights, responsibilities, and steps for the overall divorce process (helping you avoid missteps). They can also assist with legal services like securing a restraining order, temporary child support, spousal support, or other orders–if this is something you're considering.
3. Initiate the divorce
The spouse who initiates will first sign a Divorce Petition for Dissolution of Marriage–a formal request from the court to end the marriage. It typically includes the reason for the divorce (for example, uncontested, contested, no-fault, or at-fault). Be sure to consult with a qualified divorce professional to learn more about your state requirements such as how long your spouse has to sign divorce papers, if signature is required at all, and if there are separation and residency requirements.
4. Know your state waiting period
Although the length of time may vary by location, nearly all states require a waiting period —after the divorce petition has been filed, it's the mandatory yet minimum amount of time before a court will finalize the dissolution of marriage.
A qualified divorce professional can offer more information specific to your states waiting period requirement, including: the length of time, when it starts, common reasons for delays, what constitutes for grounds to waive or reduce or eliminate the waiting period entirely, and offer clarity to better navigate through the process.
5. File for divorce
Generally, you’ll need to file a form with the court in the county and state in which you and your spouse live. You may need to include financial statements with your initial filing, a copy of your certified marriage certificate, and even information about real estate you own together or separately. You may even be asked to identify specific matters you’d like the court to resolve.
Understanding your state’s divorce timeline for filings, discovery, hearings, and orders is critical. Generally, you can find most of the forms to initiate, process, and finalize your divorce through an online search. Try your state and county government’s official websites, as well as document aggregators. You can also visit your state’s Probate and Family Court in person.
6. Get court approval
Once the negotiations and court dates are over, the last document you’ll sign is the divorce decree. This document, signed by a judge, outlines the terms of the divorce (how property will be divided, the nature of alimony payments, child custody details, and etcetera) and officially dissolves the marriage.
As with all legally binding documents, it’s important to consult your attorney before signing. If the case is resolved by mediation or voluntary settlements, you will sign a Divorce Agreement, which is approved by the judge. Your divorce will be official after the court signs a divorce decree, which is a court order that finalizes your divorce from a legal standpoint.