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Self-care during divorce

There are dozens and dozens of self-care ideas. The key is to choose habits and practices that best suit you—your personality, what's best for your wellness. It's okay to take time to adjust and even develop new practices or try new things, but do what's best for you at your own pace. 
 
Emotions associated with divorce are varied and complex, and self-care is paramount, especially if you have family members who rely on you. At different times you can expect to feel sad, lonely, worried, angry, and actually bitter. Here are some self care tips for the mind, body, and spirit during divorce. 

Emotional self-care

Emotional self-care includes paying attention to the sensations within your body, and acknowledging, processing, and regulating your feelings. Here are some tips:

1. Cry. Allow yourself to feel and process what you're feeling. There shouldn't be any shame associated with letting your feelings out. 

2. Mediation. Committing to deep breathing and daily mediation can help your body relax. Practicing mindfulness exercises can help maintain a sense of calm and centeredness.

3. Affirmations. Positive affirmations can be uplifting and help you combat negative thoughts and feelings about yourself, others, and the process. 

4. Therapy or counseling. Professional services can offer coping strategies, mechanisms, and offer different methods to help manage emotions and stress.

5. Self compassion. Give yourself time and permission to not do everything perfectly. 

Mental self-care

Prioritizing your mental health during divorce can be just as important as eating and breathing! Your mental health is directly correlated to your focus, clarity of mind, and even your ability to make mindful decisions as you navigate through the divorce process. Here are some tips:

1. No judgmentInstead of judging yourself for past emotions, focus instead on building a new, constructive relationship with your ex-spouse (particularly if you have children to co-parent and as you continue to tie up loose ends together).

2. Support network. Surround yourself with supportive family and friends, people who love you and will boost your overall well-being. 

3. Avoid isolation. Avoid the temptation to be alone, instead surround yourself with those who lift you up and make you feel good about yourself. 

4. Say "no". Saying "no" to anything that drains you, or new obligations or commitments that you're not up to isn't something to feel guilty about. Protect your peace. 

5. Healthy habits. Focus on healthy habits like getting adequate sleep, exercising regularly, nutritious foods to keep your body and mind functioning well, and routines and schedules. 

Spiritual self care

Connecting to your faith can increase your sense of purpose, solidify your values, and can help nurture your soul. Here are some tips: 

1. Prayer and mediation. Sit comfortably in a quiet space, close your eyes, clear your mind, and intentionally communicate and worship. 

2. Spiritual community. If you have a spiritual community or even if you don't, you can go to a religious service, connect with others to pray, or surround yourself with spiritual people who can encourage your spiritual connection. 

3.  Practice gratitude. Journal, write a note, develop a habit of appreciating yourself and others around you. If/when one strategy loses its freshness or meaningfulness, choose another to help you express yourself.

4. Read or study religious/spiritual texts. Take time to reflect on what the readings mean to you and how they relate to your life.

5. Volunteer. Spend some of your time making a difference. Volunteer with a religious group, charity, or organization with the purpose of helping and giving back to others. 

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Fidelity does not provide legal or tax advice. The information herein is general in nature and should not be considered legal or tax advice. Consult an attorney or tax professional regarding your specific situation.

This information is general in nature and provided for educational purposes only.

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