3 steps to take before and after losing a loved one

Losing someone you love is one of life’s most difficult experiences. Whether the loss is sudden or follows a long journey, the emotional toll is immense—and the financial implications can sometimes feel overwhelming. While no plan can fully prepare you for the grief that follows, having a thoughtful financial strategy in place can help ease some of the burden and provide clarity during a time of uncertainty.

For women, this topic is especially important. Statistically, women tend to live 5 years longer than men, which means many of us may be the one facing the loss of a partner or loved one at some point in our lives.¹ Also, many women tend to be less involved with family finances and may not know where to start after the loss of a loved one. And yet, conversations about death and money are often postponed or avoided altogether—but it’s time to change that.

Here are a few things you can do now before something happens to help you prepare and a few things to help you navigate what to do after something happens. And for an additional safeguard, you can also explore 3 common financial missteps to avoid when navigating this difficult space.

3 steps to help you prepare for the unexpected

1. Start the conversation—even if it’s hard.

   Talking about death and finances is never easy, but it’s necessary. Whether you’re just beginning to think about planning, already have a plan in place, or want to become more involved in your household’s financial decisions, the most important thing is to start where you are today. Find more resources on talking to your family about money and planning.

2. Establish key documents and key players.

   We’re all human, and when faced with highly emotional circumstances, we can be susceptible to impulsive or reactive decision-making—so preparation is key. Ensure your beneficiaries and contingent beneficiaries are up to date across all accounts. This is the single most important step since your designated beneficiaries will supersede a will. However, you should consider preparing a will and/or a revocable trust that aligns with your beneficiaries, establishing a power of attorney, health care directive, and crafting a letter of instruction to clearly state and define your wishes. These key documents can help you establish an estate plan, which can help ensure your wishes are honored and your loved ones are supported without guesswork. Check out the Fidelity Estate Planner^® to help you get started.

3. Get organized before something happens.

   Creating a plan for your surviving loved ones can truly be a gift—but that plan and all potentially necessary documentation should also be accessible to those who may need it. Think about what your loved ones may need and compile all that information in a safe and secure place. What to include may consist of:

   • All account information with beneficiaries
   • Key players contact information (tax consultant, financial professional, estate attorney, emergency contacts, power of attorney, etc.)
   • Will or trust documentation
   • Copies of IDs and licenses
   • Life insurance policy documents
   • Family, property, and tax records
   • Login list (note; passwords should not be kept anywhere they could be compromised)
   • Letter of instruction

Consider keeping these important documents in a safety deposit box or at home on a password-protected USB drive for easy access in a fire-proof safe, and make sure trusted individuals know where to find them.

3 steps to help you navigate what to do after a loss

1. Give yourself space to grieve.

   Everyone grieves differently, and there’s no exact timeline, but make sure you’re allowing yourself ample time to deal with bereavement after losing a loved one. There’s a reason airlines advise you to affix your own oxygen mask first, because you won’t be of much assistance to others if you’re not OK yourself. Here are some tips on handling bereavement, grief, and family.

2. Gather important documents and make any necessary immediate arrangements.

   All the documents outlined in step 3 above? Find those and request multiple copies of the death certificate. Also ensure any immediate arrangements are made for any dependent or pet care that may be needed and start thinking about any funeral arrangements.

3. Contact key players and necessary establishments.

   Once immediate family is notified, you can inform other family, friends, and anyone else at your discretion. Then there are a few others you should aim to inform roughly within the first 2 weeks:

   • Current employer (or previous employer if retired)
   • Social Security Administration
   • Insurance companies/Medicare
   • Financial institution(s) where accounts were held
   • Financial professional/advisor
   • Tax consultant
   • Estate attorney

For a more complete list of potential important documents, records to gather, and suggested timelines to keep in mind, use our downloadable Checklist for Losing a Loved One.

3 common financial missteps to avoid

1. Review and update plans regularly.

   Estate plans and financial plans aren’t just “set-it-and-forget-it” tasks on your to-do list. Think of them as living, breathing documents that grow and evolve with you as you and your life change. Once established, at minimum consider checking in on your financial plan annually and your estate plan every 5 years. Or check in on both plans whenever there is a big life change (for example, moving, adding or losing a family member, or a large purchase).

2. Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.

   Creating an estate plan and a financial plan can take time, effort, and can potentially be expensive. But don’t avoid starting the process because it seems like too big of an undertaking or let the “what-ifs” hold you back. It’s important to have something in place that covers the more likely scenarios. You can always change and adjust things in the future.

3. Seek professional help if and as needed.

   Rely on those key players we outlined earlier. Everyone has a dedicated specialty—finances, estate planning, taxes, etc.—and can help walk you through your unique situation both before and after something happens. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to estate or financial planning. What works for others, may not work for you—and that’s OK. You don’t have to do any part of this process alone. Ask for help if and when you need it.

The bottom line

Losing a loved one is never easy, but there are things you can do to prepare ahead of time and resources to help you navigate what to do after a loss. If you want more information on this topic explore Fidelity’s Loss of a Loved One resource center and watch the Women Talk Money How to Prepare for the Loss of a Loved One replay.